A Long Walk for Mental Health on the Beach

It's Okay to Need Some Space After an Argument

I've never lived more than 10 kilometers from the ocean, and sometimes I've been lucky enough to live just meters from the shore. The beach is my happy place. It's where I go to relax, clear my head, and recharge my batteries.

Muriwai Beach is one that I love. It is approximately 47 kilometers long, making it one of the longest beaches in New Zealand. It is located on the west coast of Auckland and is known for its black sand, gannet colony, and rugged coastline.

I've had many happy times on the beach, from sunbathing to fishing off the ragged rocks next to a massive blowhole. I've watched gannets soar overhead, people hang glide from the cliffs, and I’ve taken many a long walk alongside the sand dunes.

Among my favorite memories are from when I was in the Auckland Landyacht Club. In the winter, we would use the beach as a racetrack. The wind would whip through my beard under my helmet as I raced down the sand, and the feeling of accelerating with wind gusts against my 5-meter sail was exhilarating. It also meant sea slime and dirt flying onto your face from the frint wheel as you raced inches above the sand at 100kph so that sometimes you struggled to see where you were going.

Muriwai is known for having a very strong rip, that can pull you out to sea in no time flat. In fact, over the last 3 years, one person has drowned every summer on that beach. I'll never forget the time I was body surfing on a hot summer’s day. The beach was packed and I was among a group of people enjoying the waves. I noticed the surf lifeguards out on their boards pulling people in and didn’t think much of it until one of them asked me if I needed help.

With my usual bravado, I declined, saying I was ok, but there were clearly other people nearby that did need a tow. That was when I realized that I was about 20 meters farther out than I thought. I decided I had better swim to shore. Ten minutes of breaststroke and I felt like I had only made about 5 of the 50 meters to where I would be able to stand on the sand.

More rescues were made in that time and I upped the pace. I made it by myself in the end, because I was dogged and determined, but it took me a good half hour and I was absolutely exhausted by the time I got to shore. I could barely stand. I was never in danger, with the surf patrol nearby, but another 5 minutes and I would have needed them.

But what I wanted to write about today was how a beach walk can be cathartic. Sometimes you just need to go for a long walk for your mental health.

One such day I had an argument with my girlfriend. I have no idea what it was about, but I did what a lot of guys do in those circumstances. I got into my car and took off, not even thinking about where I was going. I ended up in the car park at Muriwai Beach.

I walked down the track to the beach which was pretty busy with people having fun, which didn’t help my mood any. I started walking, fairly fast to start with, to get away from the crowd of merrymakers, and before long they were behind my back in the distance, and the only people I could see were people driving along the beach in 4-wheel drives with fishing rods hanging out of the windows. Hooning along the beach has long been a popular pastime for beach buggies (and cars!) but because of damage to the sand dunes and concerns for wildlife, it probably won’t be for much longer.

After an hour or so, I was conscious that as far as I walked away, I was going to have to walk the same distance back, but I still wasn’t in the mood to go back home and I didn’t have anywhere else I wanted to be, so I kept going. Eventually, as the sun was heading down into the sea, I decided I ought to turn around.

By this stage, I knew that I was probably heading back for a continuation of the fight, or perhaps a grilling as to why I hadn’t answered my phone. Another advantage of a long walk, when you want solitude on Muriwai Beach is that there is no cellular coverage, so even if I had wanted to talk on the phone, which I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to.

The argument must have been very petty because as I left the beach onto a dirt road parallel to the beach on the way back, I couldn’t even remember what it was about.

I don’t recall what the outcome was when I got home, but the memory spawned a song. Just to be highly original, I called it Muriwai Beach. I had visions of making a music video with this song, but that’s still waiting until I get a round tuit.

I don't even recall what we were fighting for
But it must have seemed important at the time
And now I'm all alone between the sand dunes and the foam
Wondering what will happen down the line

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