Give a Damn

Paul Stookey asking a question that remains relavant today. Do you give a damn?

Some friends of mine played Paul Stookey’s Wedding Song at their wedding in 1977, from the record. They were a lovely couple. She went to my school and he loved the environment at AAS so we saw a lot of them. They became my friends and later friends of my parents, through his love of Greek music.

Paul played The Wedding Song at Peter Yarrow’s wedding, he was the Peter of Peter, Paul and Mary. I would later perform it at a friend’s wedding and quite a few times in between my originals, in folk clubs such as Poles Apart in Auckland’s Newmarket, where I had many residencies in Frank Winter’s days.

But that’s not what this story is about. I bought the 45 of The Wedding Song, which I still have, to learn the song, but then I discovered the flip side, also by Paul Stookey, called Give a Damn.

The song was about ‘limousine liberals’ who acted surprised that there were people in need of help. It seems just as relevant today as it did then. It was about life in the city, and again was one I performed a few times in folk clubs in the 70s, where I was preaching to the converted.

“We knew some people needed help
But social workers take care of that
I mean, why give a damn yourself?"

I put Give a Damn in my Top 500 songs on Spotify that form the backdrop to In My Life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Russian invasion of Ukraine and this song feels like parts of it could have been written about this war.

“Well, the reason that you didn't
And the reason that you won't
Is you think you got a lot to lose
And the other fella don't
Oh you give a damn, well so does he
'You think the rest of us are just fakin'?
I mean what do you need that you got to give
Less than what you're takin'?
……………………………………
But above all else, please address yourself
To give a damn this summer”

When I see Ukraine pleading for help, crying for their country and their people. Stookey hit the nail on the head with “You think you got a lot to lose.” Yes, the world is at risk but doesn’t this feel in some ways like the beginning of WWII when lots of countries, like Holland and the UK thought they were safe. It was ‘over there’.

But then it wasn’t over there anymore and millions of people lost their lives.

I appreciate the USA is afraid of the nukes and the consequences of a nuclear war, and they are also afraid of Russia’s potential to shut down American power grids and perhaps even meltdown power stations using cyberattacks without having to set foot in the country. Many countries in Europe have the same fears. What will Russia do to them if they try to defend Ukraine?

In our RSAs in New Zealand (Our Returned Servicemen’s Associations) we say the ode at sunset, from Binyon’s poem ‘Lest We Forget’

“They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn;
At the going down of the sun, and in the morning,
We will remember them.”

After WWII we said it must never happen again. We must never forget.

Are we just going to wait? Do we only give a damn when it hits us? Will we wait until it is Finland or another neighbour?