It's Safe to Swim in the Seine

French Politics Repeated from Chirac to Macron

From Le Monde April 13 2024

I’ve been feeling very frustrated today. I have been searching through all my old songwriting material for a song I wrote when French President Jacque Chirac and then Defence Minister Michel Debre swam at Mururoa Atoll in 1995 after the nuclear tests, to show that it was safe. I believe that Chirac even drank a glass of water, saying it was just a little salty.

So wasn’t it ironic, when President Macron said that he will take a swim in the Seine, to show that it is safe for the 2024 Olympics? I wonder if he will also drink the water. Why does it matter?

I haven’t ever swum a marathon, and the only rivers I did swim in were clean New Zealand rivers when I was younger and I could rely on them not being polluted.

What I know when swimming, and any competitive athlete will confirm, is that you often get water in your mouth and nose, and generally have a technique of spitting it out straight away so you can breathe. Looking at chat groups for competitive swimmers, there are often discussions about sinus infections and GI tract problems as a consequence of swimming in rivers.

They didn’t say what Chirac died of, other than that he had long suffered lung problems, and Debre also died after a long illness, but perhaps it was the French way not to discuss the cause of death of their famous politicians. Imagine if they had died of cancer as a consequence of swimming in the ‘safe’ water at Mururoa, where they did 193 nuclear tests. Of course, you could never prove it.

So forgive me if I am cynical about the safety of swimming in the Seine, after it has been cleaned up. And forgive me for having a chuckle when I hear President Macron saying he will swim in the river to prove it is safe, in almost a mirror image of Chirac’s ‘evidence’ of safety.

I guess the difference is that it can take years if not decades for nuclear contamination to cause health conditions such as cancer and genetic impacts. It is undeniable that Pacific people in the vicinity have had major health problems, and that their descendants continue to have problems with cancers, fertility and other related conditions. Whereas, if the Seine remains polluted, they could have the embarrassment of consequences for athletes very quickly after the events.

I didn’t find my finished song, but these were the first lines I wrote in my notebook for my song back in the 1970s, called ‘It’s Safe to Swim’.

It’s safe to swim

Look at the politicians getting their feet wet.

It’s safe to drink

It tastes salty but they haven’t got sick yet.

Nuclear Testing’s no sin

Is the media spin.

For the chorus, I took the melody from La Marseillaise, so you can put the words to the music.

Oh Jacques Chirac if its so safe

Why don’t you do it in the Seine

And while you are having so much fun

Try the Mediterranian

Merde alors

Wait there is more…….

And sadly that is where it stops because I can’t find the finished lyric sheet.

We were pretty passionate about nuclear testing in the Pacific, because it is our home, and these were our neighbours. The ocean provided much of our food.

Of course, there is a lot more history, such as when the French came to New Zealand and sank the Greenpeace protest ship, the Rainbow Warrior and tried to deny it. That was sort of a coming of age for New Zealand, with the major powers telling us that if we had the audacity to open our mouths and protest, bad things would happen to us.

Anyway, I do hope for the athletes’ sake, that it is safe to swim in the Seine. I hope Macron likewise remains healthy. I do feel it is somewhat ironic that he is doing the same thing as Chirac did. The question is, does he believe his own rhetoric? I don’t think Chirac did.